We record our A Year With the Wheel Lughnasadh ceremony... it's a time of holidays and so it ensures we can have a holiday and that our Women of the Wheel don't miss it.
One of the unexpected benefits of recording it was that I could experience it again this morning!
With my crazy, spun-out summer diary, I woke at 7.30am to spend an hour listening back. It was so gorgeous!
Laughing at myself in places... and some of the things I said... is 1000 000 000 a billion??? Surely its not a thousand million!
I arrived with a sense of 'overwhelm'. I had a sense that what Lughnasadh is bringing is waaaay too much to harvest... I've planted too much earlier in the year and it's all needing bringing in at once! Next year I need to plant less or at least a few seeds at a time not all at once!
AND I remembered its new moon today which often comes with a sense of overwhelm for me. Perhaps I need to find another hour in the day to swim... which always helps!
As I listened to our Lughnasadh ceremony there was judgement of my voice... too loud, not clear, harsh... compared to Juanna 's gentleness... as well as a questioning if I need new tech to improve... plenty of vulnerability for sure.
And then in the meditation came a deeper awareness... 'I was there at the beginning of time'.. 'I am connected to all'... and then some words arose (the ones that I seem to hear rather than think) 'the cells are not the basic structure of all' which kept ringing in my head... much like the beautiful chimes we recorded as part of the ceremony... and then as Juanna spoke the words 'shimmering emptiness' and awareness 'its the shimmering emptiness that is the basis of all'. It felt profound.
How beautiful then to drop into that shimmering emptiness and to rest there a while. The chimes at some point turned into sunlight on the water and being by the coast listening to the chiming of the halyards on the masts of yachts in the harbour... and a sense of being on holiday.
From a place of overwhelm at 7.30am by 8.30am I felt easier... more spacious... with more perspective.... not just calmer but calm...melty... held... loved.
I am so grateful for this journey which travelling through the wheel together brings.