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Updated: Mar 7, 2023

I recently had a chat with someone I'd not seen for a couple of years. I found out her husband had died the year before. She thought I knew... everyone seemed to... I didn't.

We talked a little about what happened... how quick from diagnosis to death... how hard its been, especially with lockdown.... what support she has in place.

She asked about my ministry and I found myself telling her about havening and its uses in trauma clearing. I could see she was skeptical... she said she was.

She told me she doesn't believe in anything spiritual.

It made me think how much more tough death would feel if I didn't believe in the soul, if I didn't believe that death is a birth of sorts.

It made me wonder how to support someone in their grief who believes death is the end... final... What to say? What helps?

It also made me think how annoying it must be to be an atheist and hear 'he's in a better place now'... 'one day you'll see him again'... 'its God's will'... 'he's watching over you'... 'my prayers are with you' when none of that honours what you believe.

When we support from our own spiritual/religious worldview, it may not meet the needs of the person. I knew that already on one level, not ever wanting to push what I believe on others, only offering as another perspective, if invited. But what really struck me is that so often with death the things that are said to try and bring comfort do only honour the spiritual/religious worldview.

Its left me not only pondering but feeling grateful for the interaction for how its opened up my thinking...

Interested in your thoughts and ideas in the comments ♡

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