Sharing in case its useful...
A friend asked me this week how I was. She's the kind of friend who when she asks that question isn't expecting a 'fine'... she does actually want to know...
I replied
"Tired... exhausted...wondering if I'm depressed... lethargic... not cooked a meal all week... can hardly be bothered to get dressed... lazy... deeply sad... alternating between crying and trying not to cry"
Good job she wasn't looking for a 'fine' huh?!
The energy seems to be intensely heavy at the moment... and has felt that way for the last couple of weeks... and most people I speak to are feeling one if not more of these things.
Literally everyone seems to be low and tired.
And another thing... it seems to be darker than ever this year! By the time I feel like going out its already gone dark! Maybe its just that its almost mid winter... maybe its the unChristmas ahead of us... maybe its the year of tumultuous relationships... maybe its Covid finally taking its toll... maybe its all of those things... maybe its none of those things... In any case, my sense is we don't need to know, we don't need to keep 'becausing', we just need to honour what we feel. And somehow knowing its collective helps me... I feel less alone in it... I feel like some of it could be collective energy I'm picking up on... that maybe its not me, but something much bigger picture... and somehow that too helps me hold the hope of brighter times ahead. Maybe the heaviness will lift with the 'Christmas Star' (Saturn and Jupiter conjunct) on the Winter Solstice. No wonder so many of the faith traditions have festivals of light at this time... bringing the light into the dark...
