A couple of weeks before Christmas I had a sense of boredom. Not a big urrghhh I need to change my life kind of boredom, just a low level... oh there used to be dancing and getting dressed up and events to look forward to and now there's not. Maybe we've all been feeling a bit of that in 2020 and 2021. There's just been so much less happening.
Anyway it brought me to the awareness that I wanted more joy. When I sat with that, I realised that more joy requires two things... 1. To choose things that bring joy and 2. To open to feeling the joy
When I thought about what would bring me joy over Christmas, the list included... a sea dip, creating natural tree decorations, a night time walk, stargazing, a fire, a games afternoon with the kids, connecting with friends, watching Christmas films together. The simple things!
And then this idea of opening to the joy...
I do a movement medicine class on a Friday and as we dance my teacher often says 'just see if you can open to the possibility of pleasure'... it feels similar to opening to feeling the joy.
A wise friend once suggested when I notice something beautiful, I pause to open to the blessing of it. Since then I've practiced doing it... with a butterfly, a dragonfly, a bird, a deer, seeds blowing from a tree... and each of these encounters became all the more joyful for it... some even bringing tears!
So all this awareness of boredom and joy and simplicity was bubbling around before Christmas.
I shared some of it in my exploring spirituality women's circle and also in the Winter Solstice ceremony I co-hosted. I shared a knowing that to move towards my awakening... or not even that... to be able to perceive my already awakened state (only our limited perception blocks our awareness of our awakened self)... I needed to follow my joy and be in my body enough to really feel it.
And then on Solstice Eve I was excited to take part in the ceremony at Findhorn...
Instead of the Solstice Spiral in the Universal Hall, this year's ceremony was outside... under the rising, just past full, moon.
A sacred fire (with firekeepers) around which to walk clockwise and throw in whatever needed releasing... I threw in my list... it was a big ask this year!
And after a while of staring into the flames, wandered the twinkling lantern lit path mirroring the clear star studded skies above... into the quiet garden, laid out in a circle with a central tree.
Around the circle were more lanterns and amongst them, just visible, pebbles painted with the angel qualities. An invitation to choose our angel quality for the year ahead. As I begun my walk, (again clockwise) around the circle, a pebble caught my eye. "Too soon" I told myself, but on my second circuit it was the same pebble that captured my attention.
I picked it up and turned it over.. at first I wondered had I misunderstood the pebble thing? I saw nothing written on it, there was just dirt, but when I held it to the lantern, brushed off the earth, I laughed aloud... of course! What else could it be? JOY!