I've been having some deeper awareness about integrating the inner masculine and feminine... work that's so needed on the planet right now... and perhaps work that's essential in me as I step into more Ceremonies of Union...
I saw in meditation that the last two altars/mandalas I've created have had the same form... which I hadn't realised until now... the female form with womb containing egg, ovaries and birth canal.
The second altar is only different in that there's an addition of a tall vase in which the egg is held... which looks pretty phallic from the side! I realised I unconsciously brought the masculine into the feminine.
It also came to my awareness in meditation that this second altar mirrors the shape of Callanais standing stones, on Lewis, which goes back 5000 years, beyond the birth of Christianity.
Callanais is in the shape of celtic cross (similar to an ank which again can be seen to represent the female form as described above) with a circle where the horizontal and vertical meet. And guess what? In the centre is one tall stone. The masculine in the feminine?
My sense is that my back problems this week are related energetically to this challenge of integrating the inner feminine and masculine within me... instigated last week in the healing ceremony I created for myself.
In some previous work with the feminine and masculine I've embodied the balance and integration through movement... which came as a twisting movement in my body... and this week if I twisted even a tiny amount my back went into spasm.
There is some deep healing work to be done here... I'm embracing it on all levels with reiki and sound healing, support from a physio and wise friends, craniosacral work, havening, journalling and meditation... knowing that the physical can so often be a manifestation of the emotional and energetic and that ceremony is powerful and can create big shifts!