Listening to trauma & sadness... fears & love stories... troubles & joys... hopes & dreams...
Stories of life... of what it is to be human.
This is one of the biggest honours of being a spiritual counselor & minister... of life! Being invited into someone's life for a few minutes... a few hours... to listen.
Back in my corporate days, when I facilitated programmes in coaching, consulting & facilitation skills, I used to help people explore what it is to truly listen.
How we can spend much of our time listening to respond, i.e. listening for as long as it takes for the other person to shut up (at best) so we can dive in with what it is we want to say about that thing!
Listening to understand is a whole different thing. It requires more space... more sitting back... listening for longer... less agenda... staying with what the other person is saying (rather than disappearing into our heads & listening to what we're telling ourselves about what they're saying).
These 'levels of listening' are a continuum, from not listening at all... to listening on a much deeper level.
In the deepest levels of listening all our senses are at play. We might be listening to what's not being said... maybe incongruence between what is said and how it's said... listening to the energy... to what our own body is telling us... the environment... listening to the other person's feelings and emotions... their strengths... their wisdom... and to our intuition (this is different from what comes when we listen to respond)...
It's a skill for sure. It takes self awareness and the desire to do something different... and practice... lots of practice.
And...
It can change lives. Of both parties!
Where is your listening on the continuum?
NOT 《《《《《《》》》》》 》 DEEP
LISTENING ......................... LISTENING