Had a particularly low day last Thursday which carried on into Friday. I spent time resting, with myself, meditating and I wrote this poem which helped shift through it...
A 'free' day. Of late, so rare
Anticipated with longing
And yet, now here, I find
The ache of longing still present
With time, I've fallen into a hole
Missing, void, partial, unwhole
Sadness, grief and despair, hard to bear
Stopping to re-collect my week's feelings
I find connection, joy, rage, gladness
And here I am at loss, lost,
Here all along?
Just hidden in the non-stopping
The mad hopping
The sparking and popping
Of a busy life?
And so, in the hole, where do I go?
Claw and climb out... or drop deeper?
Rise up and out or root in and down?
In, in, deep... fall... down
I take myself into nature, to be with her...
her sunlight reflected in her half moon
Her waves washing endlessly over me
And her whispered messages of love from the hearts of trees
Ahhh it's loneliness, this feeling
Human separation, lost from Oneness
And the heavy sadness of this life
The ache, the pain. Heart sore.
And the message I get again and again
Is "Return to your heart, dear one.
Feel it opening, filling with love
And fall... let yourself fall into the depths of your own heart... Fall into Love"
This last verse inspired Friday night meditation which I host most weeks. It was a meditation on self love... to open our hearts to the stream of love that is always there and then to allow ourselves to fall into that Love.
I think self love can be a hard concept to grasp. Gabor Mate talks about it not being the gooey feeling that we can feel for others we love, but instead a willingness to sit in our own pain and emotion. I love that. It feels more achievable.
Happy Valentine's Day.
May you be willing and able to receive love, both from yourself and others, everyday ♡