FROM DARK TO LIGHT

I was deeply moved by this piece of writing I received from a client, after holding space for their spiritual exploration over six months... from midwinter to midsummer... from dark to light...

I think it beautifully describes what it is to be held in Spiritual Accompaniment and I'm delighted to be able to share with you (with agreement). It's worth saying, not all clients choose to focus on spirituality in one-to-one Accompaniment, some bring other aspects of their lives.

Today I shared a conversation with Jo about spirituality, truth, and the journey I have been on.

For a long time, I wanted a definite truth. Without it, I felt anxious, unsettled in both mind and heart. I searched, questioned, explored, and hoped that one day I would arrive at a final answer, a place of certainty where all my questions would be resolved.

But I never arrived.

I did not find an absolute truth.

What I did find was something unexpected. I found that it is possible to live without absolute certainty and not be lost. I found myself becoming more open and more comfortable with my own spiritual experiences, encounters, intuitions, and reflections. I began to trust what feels spiritually true for me, even when it cannot be fully explained or proven.

My journey has led me to a place where I can share spiritual space with people who hold very different beliefs from my own. Rather than seeing difference as a threat, I increasingly see it as part of the richness of the human experience.

Many of the truths that resonate most deeply with me are found within Quaker spirituality and an agnostic, contemplative Christianity. There are still challenges in being part of any community. We do not always see the mystery in the same way. We use different language, symbols, and understandings. Yet I am learning that safety within myself comes from accepting my own uniqueness and defining what spirituality means to me, rather than allowing others to define it for me.

This does not mean rejecting others. Rather, it means respectfully discovering where and how we can meet, even when our experiences of mystery differ.

Everyone expresses their ministry differently. Each person's experience, insight, and way of sharing is unique. "The beauty lies in the diversity."

My journey continues.

I continue to ask: How do I experience the mystery? What leads me into deeper encounters? What is truly on my heart?

I find myself drawn again and again to meditation, silence, stillness, meaningful places, gatherings, and moments of presence. I continue to explore my relationship with Jesus—not primarily as an object of worship, but as a messenger, revealer, teacher, and guide toward love, compassion, courage, and deeper awareness.

Perhaps the question is no longer whether I can find an absolute truth.

Perhaps the question is whether I can learn to rest in the mystery.

"Can resting in the mystery be the truth"—my truth?

Can I learn to see "with the eye of the heart as well as the mind?"

Can I define "what Christianity means to me without feeling constrained by it?"

Can I trust my own encounters, while remaining open to the encounters of others?

For now, I do not have final answers.

What I have is a growing trust that the journey itself matters, that mystery need not be feared, and that openness, presence, and sincerity may be enough.

And perhaps, for this moment, that is truth enough. 

I vow to remain open to the mystery with presence and trust and faithful to the unique ministry that is mine to live. 

With gratitude, thank you Jo.